My Negative Thoughts Made Loving Me So Hard

Our words have power. They impact others, but they also impact us…” – Michael Hyatt

Photo by fauxels from Pexels

Do you remember the childhood phrase: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”

As a child, I thought this was saying was true until I realized in my adult years that words actually can hurt us. Especially, words that we direct towards ourselves.

I remember in my college psychology class, my professor passed around index cards and asked us to write down any negative feelings we may feel about ourselves. She then instructed us to turn the index card over and write all positive things.

My professor then asked us to have a transparent moment. “If you wrote down more negatives than positives raise your hand?” Majority of the class including myself raised our hands.

“Now, raise your hand if it was easier to write about the negatives more than the positives?” The same number of hands went up in the air.

“Why is it so easy to focus on the negative more than the positive? I challenge you to become more mindful of all negative thoughts, feelings, words that you think and speak about yourself! I promise, you’ll see a drastic change within yourself when you put more focus on the positives!” She then dismissed lecture for the day.

Photo by Ogo from Pexels

I decided to take on my professor’s challenge and work on the way I viewed myself.

That’s when I began using daily positive “affirmations” to help combat my negative thoughts. I wanted to start seeing myself in a positive light. I wanted to see if my life would really change.

I became so accustomed to thinking negative beliefs about myself, rather they were my own thoughts or from others that I started truly believing them, even if they weren’t true. I didn’t know that my negative thoughts played such a huge role on my mental health. I didn’t know that my thoughts made loving myself so hard.

Which is why during this journey of positive thinking, I found it extremely difficult at first focusing on all positives. My negative thoughts kept arising, trying to take over the positive words I was trying to instill into myself. But I kept speaking those affirmations, even on the days when I didn’t believe my own words and as the days went by my negative thoughts slowly went away. Not all the way but we were making progress. A step towards loving myself.

That’s when I learned that our words and thoughts are powerful, and we have to be mindful of what we say. My self-love, self-worth and confidence has grown drastically. I went from being the “BUT” woman: “I love my smile, but I wish my lips were smaller,” or “I love my body, but I wish I was 20 lbs. lighter.” To taking the word “but” completely out of my vocabulary.

I view myself so differently now and I will say my positive mindset has changed my life.

Remember words have power. Think happy thoughts about yourself. Speak positive affirmations into the atmosphere.


Let’s continue to grow in every area of our lives every day. Starting with the way we view and speak to ourselves.


2 thoughts on “My Negative Thoughts Made Loving Me So Hard

  1. Powerful, empowering piece of writing. Let us keep up with spreading positivity instead of negativity as negativity is as contagious as positivity. Keep up the good work. Hope to see more from you. 😊😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

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