Man Fast: How one woman’s dating detox turned into a spiritual reckoning across four continents

self-love noun : Definition: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness 

I am going to say “self love is the best love” until I’m blue in the face. Loving and learning yourself is extremely important and is more than a physical act. You have to figure out who you are from the inside out. When you love yourself and know your worth you will not tolerate BS from others. For the longest I’ve deprived myself of love and happiness from within. Maybe it was because I didn’t know where to begin, who to talk to or I was clueless that I lacked self love. Either way I never took the time to learn myself. Which was why my past relationships never lasted because I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted or needed.

After a horrible breakup I decided ENOUGH was ENOUGH!! I was tired of feeling lonely and unhappy with my relationships. I had to take a step back and ask myself what was missing inside of me? Why wasn’t I truly happy? Then it dawned on me that I didn’t love myself. To fill that void I was looking for love in others instead of searching within myself. That’s when I decided in 2015 to go on a “man fast.”

“When you learn to love yourself, your taste in men will change “

After reading MISSTNKING blog “3 reasons why every women should go on a ‘manfast'” I became inspired.

“man fast:” to take a break from non platonic relationships with the opposite sex and focus on yourself & god.

At the beginning of the “man fast” it was VERY challenging. There were times when I wanted to send that “hey big head” text but didn’t. I was serious about taking the time to love me. So, somehow I found the strength to resist the urge of backtracking. No matter how hard temptation was knocking on my door. I knew that my love, worth and value was way more important then anything. I ended my “man fast” when I was truly ready. It took me a year to learn how to love myself and embrace the single life.

During that time I noticed many other changes also. My relationship with God and my prayer life got better. Prayer became my life and because of that I grew stronger, wiser and better than before. Did I mention that I fell madly in love with myself?Not just my physical appearance but the beautiful person that was on the inside. That beautiful person who now knows what she want, need and deserve from others who wants to be in her circle.

What I want you to take away from this is your main focus before you get into a relationship is to work on yourself. How can you love another when you lack love within yourself? Continue to grow each day and love the ground you walk on. Because if you don’t love yourself nobody else will. Love yourself first and everything else will fall into place. People will hurt, use and treat you poorly because you allow them to. Raise your standards, know your worth and value yourself because what you allow is what will continue. Treat yourself with the upmost respect so you will receive that same energy from others.

“Don’t stay at the table when love is no longer being served….”-Unknown

Love,