“…when my voice is no longer here to guide you, remember these words and carry them with you forever.❤️”
For most of my life, I didn’t know what it meant to truly love myself. Not the surface-level kind the world hypes up, but the deep, anchored kind of love—the kind that doesn’t crack under pressure or shrink to make others comfortable. The kind that helps you walk away from what’s familiar, even when it hurts. Real, authentic self-love that took years to build. I had to do some serious self-reflection to grow into the woman that I am today for you.
So, my hope is to show you what I had to learn the hard way—how to love yourself wholeheartedly. Because baby, Mommy had to get it out the mud. I wasn’t raised in wholeness; I was raised in survival. I didn’t know softness—I knew sacrifice. I didn’t know boundaries—I knew burnout.
For too long, I thought being a good woman meant losing myself to keep the peace. I bent. I stretched. I dimmed my light to make others shine. I gave away pieces of my heart because I didn’t know my value. I mistook attention for love. I called manipulation loyalty. I called silence peace. But that’s not the legacy I want to pass down.
Matthew 22:39 says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Growing up, I was only taught to “love your neighbor”—to sacrifice, to serve, to give, even when it meant neglecting me. But nobody emphasized that last part to me: “as yourself.”
If you don’t know how to love you, how deep and whole can your love for others really be? It doesn’t say love them more than you. Or instead of you. It says as yourself. Which means the way you love yourself—how you care, honor, forgive, protect, and speak to you—is the blueprint for how you show up for everyone else.
I didn’t learn love from that place. But God…
God reminded me that before I’m anything to anyone else, I’m His daughter first. And when I love me well, His love flows through me—and it reflects onto others. That’s what real love is: not codependent, not drained, and not resentful.
This has been the hardest journey I’ve walked. There were days I grieved the girl who never got to be soft. Days I begged for love from others, forgetting love isn’t something you chase—it’s something God placed in you from the beginning. It’s not earned. It’s not begged for. It’s already in you. You are love.
So, I stopped chasing people and things, and I started chasing my damn self. I’m not waiting to be chosen anymore. I chose me. And day by day, God handed me back pieces of myself I thought were gone forever.
To my future daughter—whether you’re reading this as a little girl or a grown woman trying to find your way, just like Mommy had to…
Loving yourself won’t always feel easy. Some days, it’ll feel like unlearning everything you were raised on. Some days, it’ll feel lonely. Some days, you’ll wonder if you’re “too much.” But I need you to know—it’s necessary.
You are the first person God called you to care for. Everything and everyone else comes second. The way you treat yourself will set the tone for your marriage, your motherhood, your ministry, your friendships, your work, your faith.
When you truly love yourself—with God at the center of it—you won’t let anybody mishandle you again. You’ll know who you are. You’ll speak up. You’ll walk away when needed. You’ll forgive yourself and begin again. You’ll lead not from perfection, but from peace.
My daughter, I want you to grow in the overflow of a mother who finally learned how to love herself whole—a mother who was determined to heal so she could pass down wisdom and love, not wounds.
I love you. God loves you. And most importantly, you love you. Because when a woman learns to love herself the way God does, everybody connected to her feels it—especially her daughter.
Stay blessed and stay beautiful, my child. And when my voice is no longer here to guide you, remember these words and carry them with you forever.
Love,
xoxomissy 