1. You don’t know what you want and need in a relationship.
Your dating life is a train wreck because you don’t know what it is your looking for. Take the time to write out any non-negotiables and character traits you need from a significant other. When you do this it’s so much easier to vet during the dating phase and will instantly remove all individuals who don’t fit your criteria. Date smarter not harder!
2. You are a “Pickmeisha.”
Please don’t be a “Pickmeisha” also known as a “Pick me” woman. The best way to describe a “Pickmeisha” is basically a woman who gives off desperate energy and will literally sacrifice herself just to say she has a man. Listen ladies, you will NEVER have to chase a man who is interested in you. You will not have to figure out where he stands with you because when a man wants you he will pull out every trick in his bag to get and keep you. Stop giving off lonely and desperate energy. You will only attract men who will use you until you have nothing left.
3. You continue to entertain “Dusties.”
A “dusty” man is a grown boy who lacks the basic fundamental characteristics of what it means to be a grown man. AVOID THESE MEN AT ALL COST!! They are typically grown boys who don’t have anything to lose. They lack purpose, drive and gives the least effort when it comes to leveling up their own lives. Don’t waste your time dating someone who always wants to receive but never gives. Stop allowing these grown boys who give the bare minimum to ruin your life!! Level up sis and make room for a grown man who wants to provide and protect to come into your life.
4. You put all of your eggs in one basket.
Stop committing yourself to a person before there is a commitment. If you both haven’t expressed that you are “exclusively” dating each other DO NOT drop anyone else you’re talking to. Stop giving all of your best parts to a guy that most likely still has his “others” on the side. Stop thinking that every guy you meet can potentially be your husband. Have fun while dating! The point of dating is to see what’s available out there. Until you find someone worth committing to continue enjoying yourself and allow everything to flow.
5. You’re waiting until you find a spouse to live the life you want.
Stop waiting until you find “the one” to decide what the next step of your life is going to be. You want to buy a house DO IT! You want to travel the world DO IT! You want to move DO IT! Start creating and living the life you envision for yourself now.
6. You don’t have any standards.
Raise your standards and don’t settle for just anyone who may come your way. People will seriously try to manipulate you when proper boundaries aren’t in place. Don’t allow everyone into your personal space. Define what love means to you, figure out your deal breakers, know your worth and NEVER settle for second best.
7. You think that there are no good men left in the world.
We’ve all probably heard the saying “change your mindset, change your life.” As women we have to refrain from saying things like “all men are dogs,” “all men cheat,” or “there are no good men left.” Negative thoughts and beliefs can seriously prevent that “good” man from coming because you don’t believe he exists. You have to level up your mindset, raise your vibrations and become the person you are seeking. Be a good woman so you can attract a good man.
8. You don’t prepare yourself before getting into a relationship.
During this season of singleness you must take advantage of necessary “me” time. Work on your self development by going to therapy and healing from emotional traumas. Learn more about yourself and love who you are so you want settle for mediocrity. Take yourself out on dates. Read self help books. Join a healing circle. Get yourself together first and then place yourself out there in the dating field to be found by “the one” you are seeking.
9. You don’t think you are worthy of love.
Please know that everyone is deserving of healthy love! It doesn’t matter what happened in your past relationships. Don’t give up on allowing genuine and healthy love into your life. You are worthy of the love you’re seeking! Remember you can’t receive something that you don’t believe in! During this time learn your worth and resolve those negative feelings you have towards love. Love is not your enemy. Heal and love yourself so you can flourish in romantic love.
10. You believe another person is responsible for your happiness.
It’s not fair for us to place such a heavy burden such as one’s happiness onto another individual. The only place you will receive true happiness is from within. A person can add on to your happiness but they should not be the center of it. You run the risk of that person having complete control of your emotions. Stop having high expectations that someone is going to be your “superhero” and come save your life. You are setting yourself and that person up for failure. You honestly don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Love yourself, be happy with yourself and stop looking for happiness outside of “self.”