Everyone has a different definition of what love means to them. I’ve had someone compare relationships to working a 9-to-5 job. Some have said love is one of the most beautiful emotions you will ever experience in life. Then there are those who say love is hard and painful. Relationships definitely aren’t easy, but with work, patience, and effort, you can create something beautiful with that special someone. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to reflect on love and relationships.
To help couples navigate the ups and downs of romance, we’ve gathered advice from six women who have been in committed relationships and marriages for over 2+ years. I really enjoyed talking to these six ladies and receiving the amazing advice they gave me regarding their relationships. Their insights and experiences can offer valuable guidance and inspiration for anyone looking to strengthen their bond with their partner. Keep reading to see what these women have to say about love and relationships.
1. Together for 9 Years: Communication is Key
Q: What steps do you take to make the relationship feel “alive”?
**A: Telling him how much he means to me; how handsome he is and remind him who he is in God. My husband makes it a priority to carve out time for us. He often holds my hand, sits close to me, or cuddles me. Also, we found out our love languages. Once we started feeding each other our love languages the relationship started growing more!
Q: How do you deal with difficult times/conflict in your marriage?
**A: We allow each other time (a couple of hours) to calm down and rethink. We make it a priority to figure out the issue instead of allowing it to linger, which could cause more problems. Effective communication in a relationship is definitely key.
Q: What advice would you give to other couples?
**A: Don’t go into a relationship thinking it’ll change you or make you happy. The right relationship will expose your insecurities and help you grow. The right person will notice your worth and will do what it takes to keep you. Pray together and make your desires known. Compromising is key.
2. Together for 10 Years: Evolving Together
Q: Why do you think you and your partner have made it this far?
**A: Love and God! My husband and I continuously evolve for each other into the person we want the most. Asking each other what we can do to make the other happy and satisfied. Trying new things and changing it up especially in the bedroom. Great chemistry, having a significant number of things in common and laughter. We’re literally best friends who tell each other everything!! I feel that we’re made for one another.
Q: How do you deal with difficult times/conflict within your marriage?
**A: Trying to understand one another by listening to each other’s feelings and thoughts. Talking about issues before they explode into something that doesn’t need to happen. Also, not making each other’s feelings invalid to try and validate why we’re right about whatever the issue is. Listening and communication are the most integral parts of a relationship.
Q: What advice would you give to other couples?
**A: Make alone time for each other, keep getting to know your partner, and don’t try changing each other or it won’t last. Change will occur if they want you bad enough but they’re only changing a few qualities. So, be understanding of who they are already!! When you fall on hard times remember why you fell in love and what you love about them most. Be faithful nothing hurts more than infidelity. Not everyone is disposable! Seek counseling if necessary. Be able to forgive, understand and move forward from experiences with your partner that might have been dissatisfying. Even if the relationship is in shambles be able to talk through it. It’s going to take more than a day to figure it out. You have to work at it so don’t give up so easily. It takes a lot of work to maintain a healthy relationship so always remember to communicate.
3. Together for 2 Years: Communication and Fun
Q: How do you deal with difficult times/conflict in your relationship?
**A: To be transparent, we’re still working on communication during conflict and what that looks like for our relationship. It’s hard to let things go during conflict, but we try not to hold on to grudges and forgive each other. We have those difficult conversations even when they are uncomfortable because nothing will be able to get solved without communicating. So, for me, talking it out and actually trying to understand where my partner is coming from helps a lot.
Q: What is helping you to stay together with your spouse?
**A: We’re still together because we still want each other! We enjoy each other and have fun together. In order for a relationship to work, both partners must want to maintain it. We are both madly in love with each other and are committed to making this work.
Q: What advice would you give to other couples?
**A: No one’s relationship is the same so don’t compare. Communicate and keep intimacy alive in your relationship. Remember the small things matter too.
4. Together for 6 Years: Love, Laughter, and Friendship
Q: What are some important factors in your relationship?
**A: For my husband and I, I would say love, of course, but love isn’t the only factor keeping us together. I would also say lots of fun and laughter, building a friendship, and being completely comfortable and vulnerable with each other. Being able to bond and connect on a deeper level has been the best part of our journey from dating to being married. We just love to have fun together by being our goofy and silly selves and roasting each other daily. We hold our friendship close to our hearts and just really enjoy being together. So, love and friendship are definitely some important factors to have in any relationship.
Q: How do you deal with difficult times/conflicts?
**A: By not yelling at each other. Instead, we listen to try and understand each other. Space is necessary sometimes because you don’t want to say something out of anger in the heat of the moment. So, walking away for a few to gather your thoughts and emotions can help. Praying also helps us as well and sometimes when we can’t verbally communicate our feelings, we will write them out and share once we both are ready to speak about the issue.
Q: What advice would you give to other couples?
**A: Building a foundation of love, friendship, and having an all-around healthy connection is so important! Every relationship has its challenges, healthy ones included. No one is perfect; we all have flaws and faults. Find someone you are compatible with because chemistry can get you in the door, but you will need more than that to maintain a relationship long-term. When you’re spending time together, stay off your phones and just enjoy each other with no distractions. Remember your “why” and always find ways to love each other daily. Keep God at the center, and everything will be okay.
5. Together for 4 Years: Showing Love and Appreciation
Q: How do you show love and appreciation to your spouse?
**A: I’ll cook dinner often so that when he gets off, he can have something to eat. I surprise him with random gifts. We still tell each other have a great day and to drive safely even if we’re upset with each other. Also, we buy each other’s favorite snacks…yes, we are both fatties (lol).
Q: How do you deal with difficult times/conflict in your relationship?
**A: We talk it out and try to see from both points of view, give each other space, and try to look at the bigger picture. We both had to learn together what our communication styles are and try to connect with each other by actively listening and trying to understand each other. It’s us against the problem. We are playing for the same team.
Q: What advice would you give to other couples?
**A: Trust each other, speak up if you’re feeling some type of way about a situation, have fun together and be fair. Try to have a mutual understanding of each other.
6. Together for 3 Years: Time, Conflict Resolution, and Communication
Q: How do you deal with difficult times/conflict?
**A: Resolving conflict in our relationship involves a combination of time, communication, and understanding. Actively listening and trying to understand each other’s feelings, helps us with resolving conflicts in a healthy and constructive way.
Q: Why do you think you and your partner have made it this far?
**A: Love. Definitely hasn’t been a cake walk but we’re still learning and exploring. We’re committed to continuing growing with each other by not giving up and being complacent.
Q: What advice would you give to other couples?
**A: Have patience, don’t throw in the towel when the first argument comes up. Remember your morals and don’t settle. t’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Take the time to understand each other’s perspectives and work together to find solutions. Stay committed to growing together and supporting each other through the ups and downs.
Love,
xoxomissy 