Charles always had my best interest at heart. He liked to choose my hairstyles and some days he would pick out my clothing. I loved having him by my side when my friends and I would have girl’s night out. Charles told me he always wanted to be around me. I loved when he was protective of me.
When we were dating Charles was the most romantic and sweetest gentleman I knew. He opened doors, pulled out my chairs and walked me to my door every night. We wouldn’t let the night end without saying I LOVE YOU. Every morning I used to wake up to a sweet message or note from him. That will always keep me smiling throughout the day. He was the love of my life! I worshipped the ground he walked on. Our relationship was passionate and a fairytale come true. I was ecstatic when he asked for my hand in marriage. I just knew he was the one for me.
I had goals and dreams. I was studying to become a doctor until I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl named Heaven. Charles told me that I should be a stay at home mother and that school will always be there. So that’s what I did. I felt that it was the best decision for my family. Besides, I loved taking care of my daughter.
Speaking of family, since I got married I haven’t spoken to my family and friends. It’s been a year since I’ve seen them. After the wedding we moved away. Charles wanted it to be just us with no distractions.
One day, Charles lost his job and was under a lot of stress. I tried to reassure him that everything was going to be okay instead he would push me away and give me the cold shoulder. Eventually, Charles started staying out later than usual and partying every night. He forgot about his family and turned to alcohol, which became his “bestfriend.”
Alcohol turned my sweet and caring husband into a monster. I hated when he got drunk. I knew when he picked up a bottle that the monster was going to reveal itself. Every time he came home I hoped that it wasn’t one of those nights.
I didn’t want to leave my husband but if we have to I will. I loved my husband and I knew that this was just an obstacle in our marriage that we would overcome. I thought about leaving him everyday. But, those vows “To Love & Cherish, Till Death Do Us Part…” would always replay in my head. I wanted a family for my daughter. She deserved the reality that I could only dream of. So because of her, I became an expert at hiding the bruises and covering up the pain.
I remember me and my daughter’s last night home. Charles came in the house stumbling and knocking down the decorations on the table. I placed Heaven on the carpet in the living room because I didn’t want her to see her father like this. She loved him and I wanted her to think of him as a protector, not a threat.
I went into the hallway and approached Charles with caution. I wasn’t sure what mood he was in. Once I was close enough Charles grabbed my neck and squeezed tightly. I tried to remove myself from his grip but couldn’t. I stared into my husband’s eyes and the man that I loved was gone.
That night was one that I would always remember. For 3 years, I dealt with the abuse and controlling behavior because I cherished our vows.
How could I let him hurt my baby? My beautiful baby. Heaven. I should have protected her, us. Now, look at me. Looking down at me and my baby girl’s caskets watching my family and friends cry over our dead bodies.
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I dedicate this story to the women and men who are currently in abusive relationships and marriages. Leave for yourself and your children. They deserve to live in a healthy, loving and positive environment.
Remember to stay encouraged!!
-xoxomissy
If you or someone that you may know is experiencing domestic violence, head to these websites for help:
xoxomissy 