Dear Discouraged Friend Everything Will Be Okay

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“Comparison is the thief of joy”

Theodore Roosevelt

Dear Discouraged Friend,

I know this feeling extremely well. You see others receiving promotions, degrees, becoming homeowners, and getting engaged but you’re having a tough time obtaining your goals. Now, you are thinking when will it be my time? You have finally received your degree but all of your friends are flourishing in their careers and now you feel left behind. Maybe you were excited to get into the dating game but your friends are getting engaged. Now you feel the pressure to get on board the “married train” but you’re still attracting dead end relationships with no ring in sight.

You see how it’s so easy to become discouraged when you compare your journey to another. The one thing I’ve learned about life is that it can change in the blink of an eye. You can go from being homeless to owning a home. From dropping out of college to receiving a job that offers more than you would have received with a degree. Stop beating yourself down and be thankful for the now.

I was discouraged when I wasn’t graduating college on time. My friends were graduating and celebrating their success and I felt left behind. I was so devastated that I wanted to throw in the towel. At the time I didn’t realize that it just wasn’t my season to graduate because I wasn’t prepared for the “real” world. Staying behind was a blessing in disguise. My friends graduated because it was their time! God had a different plan for me and it turned out to be necessary for my growth as a person.

I said that to say “So What!” So what if your friends are accomplishing goals before you. Don’t beat yourself up about not being where you imagined yourself to be. Some plans in life will change because life isn’t a straight path. It’s going to come with plenty of road blocks and dead ends but you have to keep going. Appreciate where you are now in order to grow into the next chapter of your life.


Stop the negative self talk about yourself and start seeing the good in situations. You may not be married right now but you still have time to enjoy your singleness. You may not be a homeowner right now but you can continue to save money until that day comes. You may not be where you thought you would be in life but if you keep believing in that dream of yours then you can achieve it.

Don’t worry about what others have accomplish. If anything seeing your friends achieving their goals should motivate you to do the same. Everything happens at the right time. It’s better to wait for your blessing then rushing the process. Stop thinking that life is a competition and letting other’s success diminish what you have going on for yourself.

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.”

-Zen Shin

Don’t feel discouraged but inspired! Life is 100% of what you make it! Stay in your own lane and worry about yourself. Don’t be in a rush to figure everything out because all of the pieces will come together with patience. Your journey is your own so enjoy it, embrace it and know that greater is coming! Don’t concern yourself with what your friends, family and others are doing put the focus on yourself and life will be easier.


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